There rarely dawns a day when I’m not thinking about some Nora Ephron quote or other (the woman was simply right about everything!), but a line from her semi-autobiographical 1983 novel Heartburn came to mind recently: “Beware of men who cry. It’s true that men who cry are sensitive to and in touch with feelings, but the only feelings they tend to be sensitive to and in touch with are their own.” The trigger? Seeing Norwegian biathlete Sturla Holm Lægreid tearfully admit to having an affair on live television after placing third at the Olympics on Tuesday.
Is this harsh of me? Maybe, just a little. After all, we want boys (and, by the laws of human evolution, men) to feel comfortable expressing their emotions instead of just punching a wall when the Knicks lose, don’t we? Still, Lægreid’s admission that “there is someone I wanted to share this with who might not be watching today” because “three months ago, I made the biggest mistake of my life and was unfaithful” rather took me aback. Sort of romantic? Yes. Insane? Also yes, and I’m not really sure which of the two is winning out at the moment.
As it turns out, Lægreid’s former girlfriend seems unmoved by her ex’s display of public regret. “It’s hard to forgive. Even after a declaration of love in front of the whole world,” the aforementioned girlfriend (who is choosing to remain anonymous…can’t blame her!) told Norwegian tabloid VG on Wednesday. “I did not choose to be put in this position, and it hurts to have to be in it. We have had contact, and he is aware of my opinions on this.”
If Lægreid’s ex were fully swooning at his public simping, maybe I would too, but as women scorned go, so goes my personal opinion—which forces me to conclude that this was the classic case of a man in the public eye simply doing too much.
The idea of someone getting on live TV to plead forgiveness for breaking my heart is appealing, sure, but only as a fantasy. In real life, I think it would make me as sweaty and uncomfortable as the notion of someone speeding to the airport to stop me from boarding a flight, someone lighting a million candles in a tiny and ill-ventilated room to try to woo me (fire safety is real!), or any other move straight out of the rom-com playbook. I’m all about the intersection between the Olympics and romance, but if any cheating athlete out there is mulling following in Lægreid’s footsteps, please: just write her a simple and heartfelt note of apology and deliver it in private!