Unfortunately, my story didn’t end there. Last year the radiologist saw something else on my MRI, and I was diagnosed with stage 1A triple-positive breast cancer. The lump was so tiny—half the size of a grape, if that—but it was an aggressive form of breast cancer. They had to get it out quickly. I kept thinking: If it weren’t for Ashley, how big would the lump have grown before I felt it? I could have been diagnosed at stage 4 too. It felt like she was still looking out for me, helping my medical team find the cancer and treat it so early.
When I was diagnosed my parents were getting ready to go on an extended family trip to Ireland for my nephew’s graduation. I thought, I can’t tell anybody now. So I held it in for that whole week and a half while they were abroad. Finally sharing the news was hard; I couldn’t believe I was telling them, “You now have a third daughter with breast cancer.” In 2021 Ashley told my dad first; she did not have the heart to tell my mom. In 2023 Heather felt the same way, especially now that my parents had a daughter battling stage 4 breast cancer, so she also told Dad first. When it was my turn, I thought, I need to go there. I need to be there in person to tell both my parents.
Heather and I drove together to my parents’ house—but I just couldn’t say the words. I had Heather tell them while I sat there. Having two daughters diagnosed with breast cancer is shocking enough; now there was a third. My dad sat there speechless. That’s what he does. My mom cried. That’s what she does. I guess you could say it ended up being a good thing that they were away when I found out. By the time I told them, I had a treatment plan in place. I was calmer than I might have been otherwise and could tell them how I was going to fight the cancer.
First, I had surgery to remove the tumor, and my medical team checked my lymph nodes to make sure the cancer hadn’t spread. Shortly afterward I began 13 weeks of chemo. Going through chemo was the absolute worst time of my life—I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. Now I’m getting ready for 20 days of radiation. I’m also on anti-HER2 therapy that I receive every three weeks at the hospital infusion center. I won’t ring the bell until November; I still have to get through the rest of this year.
I work for an insurance brokerage, typically from home, so I was considering going part time during chemo. Then I realized that by taking disability, I could get paid in full while receiving chemo and take time to put myself first, which I never do. My job was great about it, especially knowing I’d recently lost my sister to breast cancer. I’m so thankful I decided to take that time off because chemo was absolutely exhausting. I have newfound respect for women going through treatment, especially for stage 4 cancer, where you’re often being treated for a long, long time. It helped that my husband was also able to take time off under the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA). He works so much but really stepped up to help me on the days when I just couldn’t get off the sofa.