Saturday Night Live opened again with Donald Trump (James Austin Johnson), this time trying to make it through an Air Force One press gaggle having used Adderall and Ambien.
“Could you comment on the latest batch of Epstein photos released by House Democrats?” one reporter asked him.
Johnson’s Trump responded, “Look, the fact is, these photos are a fake news Democrat hoax.”
The reporter pressed him again, “Well, even the picture of a bowl of condoms with your face on them and the text saying, ‘I’m huge.’”
Trump responded, “They were 100% legit. I love those files. I’m in the files. I took a lot of great pictures.”
In fact, a new batch of Epstein photos were released on Friday by Democrats on the House Oversight Committee.
In the skit, Trump peeks through a curtain on Air Force One, and repeatedly leers at his press secretary Karoline Leavitt (Ashley Padilla).
Among other things, reporters pressed Trump on the U.S. strikes on alleged Venezuelan drug boats. The situation escalated this week after the U.S. also seized a Venezuelan oil tanker.
Responding to a reporter’s question about the seizure, Trump did “the weave,” or when he gives a meandering, stream-of-consciousness comment.
“Yes, we’re doing pirate now,” Trump said. “Arghh!”
“You know, it’s interesting. Last week, I said Somalis were garbage, and now we’re stealing the ships. Ironic, isn’t it? Alan is, she’s great in Dogma. With regard to danger, you know, I’m captain now. Remember that, Captain Phillips. ‘I’m Captain.’ I love that line. You know Captain Phillips, one of my favorite captains, after Crunch! Hoops, all berries. Why do you say hoops? I prefer it. I prefer when it’s all Crunch Berries. Oh, me thinks Ambien has pulled into the lead. Don’t worry. Adderall is still in the race.”
When asked about continuing to carry out the boat strikes, Trump said that they are expanding it to planes as well. He then showed reporters declassified video from a strike — the “plane” is actually Santa and his reindeer. Soon Santa and his sleigh are blown up.
“Is that Santa?” a reporter asked.
“Not anymore. Next question.,” Trump said.
“Mr. President, do you have any comments on the potential sale of Warner Bros. to Netflix?”
“I don’t know why anyone wants Warner Brothers. They got one of the worst studio lot tours in L.A. You go on that thing and it’s just some kid pointing to a tree. ‘Oh, that’s the tree from Pretty Little Liars.’ …I want to go to the Gilmore Girls gazebo. Let’s go there. Or the Batman museum.”