Love Is Blind’s Alex Shares Bizarre Five-Year Plan — Best TV Quotes

What better way to celebrate the first of the month than with TVLine’s latest Quotes of the Week?

In our list below — which rounds up the best sound bites of the past seven days — you’ll find a dozen shows represented, including “Love Is Blind,” “Vanderpump Rules,” “The Pitt,” and “A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms.”

Also featured in this week’s roundup: “Summer House” celebrates being a single mother, “The Traitors” reunion keeps it real, and “Industry” embarks on a night of debauchery. Plus, we’ve got double doses of “Bridgerton,” “Scrubs,” “Survivor,” and “Paradise.”

Scroll through the list below to see all of our picks for the week, then hit the comments and tell us if we missed any of your faves! (With contributions from Nick Caruso, Rebecca Luther, Dave Nemetz, Kimberly Roots, and Ryan Schwartz.)

“It is quite a cruel twist of fate to lose one’s husband at such a tender age.”

“I imagine it’s cruel to lose one’s husband at any age.”

“And yet, for some of us, a release.”

“… What was she wearing at the funeral? Lady Kilmartin. If one must endure, I hope she at least was enduring in a… marvelous ensemble.”

Not even a tragic death will stop Queen Charlotte (Golda Rosheuvel) from getting her gossip 

“That was fun, Lady Danbury. We have such fun together.”

“Yes, we do.”

“I will miss you… Oh, bother. I command these to stop!”

Lady Danbury (Adjoa Andoh) shares an emotional farewell with Queen Charlotte (Golda Rosheuvel), who discovers that her tears are not loyal subjects

“In five years, I see myself living in Florida with a phenomenal house, potential trust in Dubai, and safehouse in Queenstown, New Zealand.”

For a thirty-year-old man who’s still grieving his collegiate soccer career, Alex has a very particular — and frankly, outlandish — five-year plan

“Will you promise me something? Will you look after me tonight?

“When the f**k are you gonna look after me?”

“Tonight.”

Harper (Myha’la) and Yasmin’s (Marisa Abela) complicated friendship continues with yet another night of debauchery

“Having a family, having a baby, has always been my ultimate goal. I have that now. The pressure is off. No longer am I looking for the one. I’m not, like, choosing the wrong guy because I’m up against a biological clock. I get to go f**k around and find out — with a condom, of course.”

Lindsay Hubbard continues to celebrate the joys of being a new, single mom

“I genuinely care about, um… what’s her name?”

Shayne has trouble coming up with the name of the SUR-ver he cares so deeply for

“Today will be an adventure. Think of it like ‘Back to the Future.'” 

[Knocks over chart rack] “Or possibly ‘Titanic.'”

Samira (Supriya Ganesh) comes up with an even more apt comparison than Langdon for PTMC’s analog crisis

“Dr. Park really wanted this job, and his hatred for you is going to burn quite hot. And that thought will keep me warm at night.”

Dr. Cox (John C. McGinley) describes one of the perks of naming J.D. his successor

“He screamed a curse word that they use over in London that no one in this nation would ever have the audacity to yell in a hospital. Except, maybe, in gynecology.”

Sibby (Vanessa Bayer) reports Asher for foul language

“She’ll probably never trust me again, you know? It’s probably over with.”

“You get my Birkin [bag], you’re forgiven. We go from there.”

“F*** the purse!”

“He can’t even buy a shirt!”

At the Season 4 reunion, Tiffany and Porsha have a hard time believing the wardrobe-averse Rob would ever splurge on a fancy handbag for Maura

“I have major FOMO issues and I knew this was going to be an epic party. I didn’t want to hear about it from Angelina and Christian in a month from now, and I was like, ‘If you guys are gonna be down there, I’m gonna be down there too!’ I want a front row seat!” 

Mike White explains why he’s taking a break from his “White Lotus” duties to play in the sand with Jeff Probst

“We haven’t even gone to the first immunity challenge yet, and my name is being thrown around by Jenna. I think in Jenna’s mind, she was the first season so she is the queen, [but] I can’t help it if I give off queen vibes!” 

Cirie Fields responds to intel that Jenna Lewis-Dougherty is coming for her

“I don’t think personal training was all that Tyler was providing Archer.”

“Are you implying…?”

“That Archer was using Tyler’s blood plasma? Yes!”

“That is absolutely not what I was gonna say. What in the Nosferatu?!”

This case of the week sounds downright vampiric to Capt. Wagner (Wendell Pierce)

“‘Are You Lonesome Tonight?'”

“Um, maybe, but less than usual.”

Link (Thomas Doherty) really doesn’t get it when Annie (Shailene Woodley) tells him the title of her favorite Elvis Presley song

“Jeremy With the Good Hair has gone full ‘Les Mis’ at a very dangerous time.”

Little does Robinson (Krys Marshall) know, she’s only got about one day more (See what we did there?!)

“Where are we going, ser?”

“Don’t know. I suppose we could go anywhere in the Seven Kingdoms, though I’ve never been to —”

“Nine.”

“What?”

“There are nine kingdoms, ser.”

“Of what?”

“The realm.”

“Are you mad?”

“Is that relevant?”

“There are seven kingdoms of the realm, boy. Everyone knows that.”

“Then, everyone is wrong.”

“Do you want a clout in the ear?”

“Crownlands, Westerlands, Stormlands, Riverlands, the Iron Islands, the North, the Reach, the Vale of Arryn, and Dorne.”

Egg (Dexter Sol Ansell) schools Dunk (Peter Claffey) — and us! — in Westerosi geography