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As Donald Trump scaled up his threats of an attack against Iran, a recent midnight thunderstorm over the capital Tehran sent some residents scrambling out of their beds to windows and rooftops in the belief that the much-anticipated conflict had begun.
It proved to be a false alarm. But the sense of dread has only intensified. The US president on Thursday warned Iran to reach a deal within a “maximum” of 15 days, or “bad things will happen”. Washington has now amassed one of the largest military forces in the Middle East since the 2003 Iraq war.
Many residents of Tehran — who are still traumatised by the war with Israel in June and a deadly crackdown on anti-regime protests last month — fear it is only a matter of time until violence returns to their lives.
People across the capital speak of sleepless nights, and some pharmacists say there is rising demand for tranquillisers and blood-pressure medication. Other residents have sought to stock up, filling supermarket trolleys with essentials like rice, beans and detergents and joining long queues to pay.
“I’ll stay in Tehran,” said Homayoun, a retired civil servant who like others interviewed used a pseudonym to protect his identity. He said he was too exhausted to flee the city. “I’ll be killed either by the Islamic republic or by the US, but I won’t go anywhere. In this country, it seems you cannot even die a normal death.”
Even before the storm, nerves were frayed. During celebrations marking the anniversary of the 1979 Islamic revolution last week, pro-regime supporters patrolled neighbourhoods, chanted slogans and set off fireworks into the night. For many already on edge, the displays were alarming.
“When they came to our street, I thought the US had attacked,” said Soheila, a woman in her sixties who lives in an upper-middle-class neighbourhood of Tehran, explaining that she thought people were rushing out of their homes because of a strike. “Since that night my blood pressure has gone up. Doctors say it is stress from the war fears.”
When Israel attacked Iran in June, triggering a 12-day war in which Tehran came under heavy bombardment, a surge of nationalism swept across the country, with many Iranians rallying around the flag and defying Israeli calls to rise up against the theocracy despite their disillusionment with their leaders.
This time, in the wake of last month’s brutal crackdown on anti-regime protests, emotions are more complicated.
This week saw a wave of mourning ceremonies marking 40 days — an important milestone in Iranian culture — since the deaths of protesters killed in the unrest, the deadliest episode in Iran since the revolution.
Human rights group HRANA said that it has confirmed more than 7,000 deaths and is investigating more. Many Iranians blame the bulk of the violence on the security forces, though the state has blamed armed agitators backed by foreign powers and puts the toll lower at 3,117.
The government of President Masoud Pezeshkian has sought to contain anger over the crackdown, promising salary increases for civil servants and repeatedly offering condolences to families of the dead. Even the country’s supreme leader, Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, said this month for the first time that he was mourning the deaths of innocent people.
But such gestures have failed to convince many Iranians, who feel that the rupture between the state and society can no longer be mended.
“It fills me with rage and a sense of revenge,” said Mojgan, a teacher in her forties, describing watching videos of the recent mourning ceremonies. “It reminds me of my divorce from my ex-husband. I just wanted him gone, no matter the consequences. I want the Islamic republic to go and I don’t care what replaces it.”
Some Iranians fear that publicly opposing the US’s threats against Iran over the Islamic republic’s nuclear programme risks being misconstrued by the authorities as support for the theocracy and its policies. Some are even longing for a war as a possible way out from the current impasse.
Nasrin, an employee at a private company who joined the protests, said that “for decades we chose between bad and worse”. “Now I want the country to go in one direction.”
All this has left a sombre mood despite the start of the Muslim holy month of Ramadan and the upcoming festivities for Nowruz, the Persian new year, next month.
Shopkeepers, whose businesses would usually be full of shoppers preparing for festive meals and celebrations, said business was stagnant.
“By now I would have restocked and customers would be buying for the holidays,” said one grocer in central Tehran. “This year, none of us have. We can’t survive like this.”
Mehdi, a construction contractor, said he feels unable to get on with his life. “We’re stuck between a regime that won’t give up and the US and Israel that won’t back down,” he said. “You can’t live with this level of uncertainty.”